Tuesday, April 28, 2009

meet twinnie @ last!!! damn i miss her!! hahahahah

kk..in sch juz nw was fun lah very d giler2!! lol sooo fulll!!!!! haha. den @ last i get 2 speak wif my lovely ol' octabelly grp more!! miss dem seh although in same class like nvr tok much hmph.
slept all d way in geron class hahaha...damn tired sia... cannot even open my eyes!!!

den wan go home time... hah! took d bus coz 2 lazy!! hahahah... got dis ass kip looking @ me damn scary i kip looking away! stoopid mat like no other gerl 2 stare @ ah?? den sher say he point @ me 2 his fren den i'm like wtf??? he soo noisy sia!!!! cute, but noisy n irritating!!! grrrr!!! den in d train oso same incident!! alermak!!!mintak kene ah!!!

@ home...d usual... parent(especially mom) damn naggy! i cn nvr get peace @ home!!! onli out of d blue moon!! luckily i go down mit twinnie den cuzzie came... huhu damn fun lah! toking bout dirty stuffs!!! lol!!

haha I HAVEN STUDY 4 MY MAJOR TEST DIZ COMING THURSDAY!!! OMG!!! DIEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!stoopid seh fai u should have like paid attention in class lah!!

ohkae gd nyte!!

sinceilaymyeyesonyouidonnoeifitztruebutyesimconvincednowdatiloveyou

11:08:00 PM

Monday, April 27, 2009

frenz? yea i guess we r... should not put hope yea... hmm... haha...but had fun with him.. thx darla...i noe i troubled u d dae b4.. really2 sorry... =( but..yah... thx sooo much....

8:48:00 PM

Sunday, April 26, 2009

8-12 noon. phase test. i PASSED!!!

3-7 pm. karaoke!!!(i lost my voice)

8-10 pm. shisha n ehem. shiqin nyer kwn treat us. woo hoo!!

10-11.30. pool. i nvr play lah duh.

11.30-1.15 am. taka garden. such a nuisance. went back late. missed last train. taxi fare 2 expensive coz nd 2 send 3 ppl hm, diff venues.msged secret, he siad he will pick me n dear2 up wif his fwen. smiles....

on d way back on motor.... i rode wif secret. was talking bout y we went hme late. he n his fren sacrificed their tym 2 pick us up. really gr8ful... love him sia.... hw 2 hate him?? on d bike, he was asking y we went hme late. i told him wat happen. he knocked me head!! grr.. but i deserve it,i guess...haish... onli spent tym wif him 4 a short period of time... supposed 2 hang wif him durin dat shisha time... but tk jad... @ last thse bad things happened n @ last, fate happens when i juz have 2 c his face... dat flawless face... always stuck in my head....

dear2,i hope ur okae... don cry k... i'll b here 4 u... love u dear2 more den secret u noe...

hedoescareformeninoedatlongagohwcanihatehimorforgethimilivehimwifallmyheartnimsincereaboutitgodplzopenhishearttomakehimrealizediz

ilh

2:42:00 AM

Friday, April 24, 2009

i promise dat i will get on with life n try my best 2 b nice n smile.
i promise dat i will not put in any hopes towards wat i noe will nvr b mine.
i promise dat i will take care of him from far n will not msg him unless there is a reason why i should.
i promise dat i will have fun n do well in my life b it studies or my love life.
i promise..... dat i will care for him no matter how he treats me...
i promise dat i will try my very best to kip my promises...
ilu.

.withallmyhart.

11:48:00 PM

Thursday, April 23, 2009

u noe wad i'm like sooo pathetic i mean i told myself i won't msg him but when he did msg me, i replied. stoopid seh fai. haa... alaa... but yalah obviously if ur in my plce ur gonna like do d same thing duh.. but itz still a stoopid move lah duh.. ala nemind la haha.

omg my phase test is like on DIS SATURDAY!!! GRRR!!! so nervous!! like every day i berak2!!! so disgusting! hahaha den i kip drinking fizzy drink n eating swit junk fd!!! OMG!! i'm like sooo gaining wt lah n i'm supposed 2 lose wt in like wat? 2 mths??????? OMG HOW?????? hahahahahahah die nemind i can!! faidila, do not drink fizzy drinks n eat junk fd!!! jyeah!!!!! lol hahahahahahahhahaha okae i gtg my cuz waiting 4 me bye!!

i'm gonna pull yong2 d hair n ears n nose hahahahaha!

7:35:00 PM

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

mamat n ezzly n everyone out dere, plz b careful out dere. d wind is damn fucking strong n itz scaring me. omg..

n he msg me!!!! HE ACTUALLY MSG ME!!! OMG!!!

11:12:00 PM

Monday, April 20, 2009

i've cried enuf.i shed enuf tears. ur no longer in my life n ur onli a fren.this., i have 2 face it bravely. i can get over him. n i will. ur my past,n it will stay dat way. u don wana look @me? np. i don wan 2. i don wanna contact u, u don't too.. yes.i get it. n u get my msg too.. i will always take care of you from a distance. n i noe u will 2. but datz all we r. other den dat, we're nthg.n it wil stay dat way. more tears? definitely.

11:13:00 PM

Sunday, April 19, 2009

feels soooooo lost.k fai, u MUST help urself!! b STRONG! he's an ass! he don wanna c u, u don wanna c him 2! FULL STOP! get out of my head fuck. ifeel soooo stoopid! kip doing wat ur doing, ur plan is working. i'm not liking you. yes.

okae! juz nw got dance, fucker instructor nvr come, dn care, den dear2, shiqin n i went bugis! SHOPPING!!! wah alot seh!! den after dat lek2 pat starbucks until 11.30 or so den catch d last train! saw ashfar,adk aqilah my best fren from pri. sch! wah! funny! sae dear2 dark like indian hha funny seh. k bye! i miss toking torendang. hha.

1:26:00 AM

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

LOL HOW CAN I FORGET!! last sat,went 2 watch FAST&FURIOUS 4!!! with d MEMLORZ+C2+CHIKO lol...!! was so funny!! dear2 kip asking wat is happening n all.. n i screamed mamat's name!! when watching d UNINVITED trailer!! TRAILER!! i scream like dat readi! imagine me watching it later!!!???? lol!! haha.. miss my rendang(smiles)...have fun in sch k rendang?? lol hahaha... kk.. soo random!! kkafter we watched d movie,went 2 cck park lpak til 1 am!! so niceee...!! dear2 tried 2 touch d roof of d pondok,sorwie dear2!! cannot ler!! lol!! hahah....ouh! n dear2 n i brought along diz BIG tilam from d lorry n carried it all d way 2 d pondok, but when wan go back... we kinda make mamat carry it(evil laughter!!) muahaha... sori mamat...(smilez!) okae datz all 4 now!!

temptedtosmokedammitseh

10:36:00 PM

realli. i hate sch. my frenz r different now. i dunnoe why. itz juz stoopid. wadeva. n i get an INSANE teacher as my class advisor. MORE STRESS ADD UP. @ home? not a happy place 2 b @ so i won't miss a thing bout it n i don care. should i continue?i survived a year. was our 1 yr anniversary y'dae. GO JP0804A!!! HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY MY LOVELY IDIOTIC CLASS!! WOO HOO!! 2 YRS 3 MTHS left n we're out of sch!!! wow! f**king long!!! damn.... oh wells. wan go rest now. bye2. itz taking all my energy away,studying. i hate it.

.imisshimsosomuchijustadduptoallmystressandmyheadisstartingtohurtmoreandmorebuticannotbeartomissschoolasiamnotasmartgirl.

9:51:00 PM

Sunday, April 12, 2009

i can't seem 2 get things right. i feel so hopeless and useless but i know i shouldn't feel this way. i have great friends. my life is great.so why do i feel this way? i feel like something important is missing from my life. i need that company. i need someone that i can do anything and everything with. but who? empty. sense of loss. numb. i am starting to feel like..i'm going to go back to my old ways, that heartless bitch that i actually am. the one that people hate a lot. omg what is WRONG with me?? shh.... silence is what i need now. peace.... and.... you.

1:32:00 AM

Saturday, April 11, 2009

lol! had a fun time wif family juz nw! i juz reached home! from 12.30-4.30am, ibu,ayah,angah n i went out to hmm... mount faber,den changi beach,ayah n i was so hungry we went 2 changi village,OMG ALOT OF BAPOKS @ EVERY TURN!!!! WTF!!! SO COOL!! haha n duh standard i cuci mater lah ckit hehe... THE NASI LEMAK WAS DELICIOUS N HOT BUT AS SOON AS I REACH HOME I BERAK URGH....=))

Tot wan go hme, budden i told my dad go town n c d atmosphere dere @ nite. heh so we went dere n omg got illegal car racing sooooooo hyped sia!! watching all those cars past by n moreover it was sooo loud!! so hot!! SEMANGAT FAST N FURIOUS 4!!! lol. okae lame. den we went 2 kentridge park wow soo steep!! scary!! my bro went 4 a joy ride w/o licence in my dad's car,boi was ayah mad!! lol padan muker kau angah kene maki. hah. n i climbed d tank! SUCCESS!! my bro tried 2 climb,FAILED BADLY!!! LOL!!! d whole tank shake sia when he tried 2 climb! haha!! jkjk.. but itz true. ;) told my bro 2 take a pic of me on d tank n he n my dad tried 2 scare me by saying derez smeone bside me. RIGHT,OOOUU SCARY I'M SOO SCARED!! won't work on me dudez!!! lol

yah n now i'm home, home bitter-sweet home.... gotta wake up @ 10am later omfg!! k gd nyte people!!!

4:34:00 AM

Thursday, April 9, 2009

morning!!!! now @ work,fuyoo..... so damn tired.... nex monday pay day AND school day!!!! argh!!!!! i dowan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i nvr wana go 2 sch!!!! so damn irritating!!!! alaaaaa.......... same routine for 7 weeks..... 7 WEEKS!!! OMG.... hope dat it will past faster den d 3 weeks holiday! coz 3 weeksare like,SO DAMN FAST!!!!! GRRRR...... update later. gotta get 2 work now bye!!!!

10:43:00 AM

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

he's like a drug dat i can't stop taking. too addicted 2 it. i hate d feeling. smething i can't have is what i want now. wanting him 2 get out of my mind but why is it so hard?

dammit.

got my pay y'dae. spent all readi. heh.bought 2 bags,2 victoria secret's perfume(1 for me, 1 for dear2!!) lol. bought tights,jacket,tube..bla3.

k update later. not in d mood. sad. fucked up. damn.

1:52:00 PM

ALAAAAA......... ALLAAAAAAA.................. nabei ccb... 5 more days of holiday!!! URGHHH!!!!!!!! FUCK LAH.... i dowan 2 go 2 sch! fking shit lazy sia.... dammit.... not even enjoyable lah...... alaaaa..... why can't i juz work all d way...!? do i even wanna b a nurse??yah2. bright future. confirm get job. but m i gonna b happy?? omg.... fking shit la.

11:43:00 AM

Monday, April 6, 2009

juz when i was realli determined 2 not mention his name, or see him, i saw him.

sunday,yesterday, went 2 mamat's hse 2 wake him up. i opened d door,n saw 'his' slippers. nike blue colour. i was unsure so i opened d door bigger n saw 'his' helmet n i was like DAMMIT! but wad 2 do... i juz went in lahn saw him,ajoy,n mamat... he was still asleep,phew! mmat was half-awake n ajoy was awake n very shock!! lol! i startled him! kk,den after a while he woke up n i smile n juz say a simple gd morning 2 him. den walk away. i cannot look @ him. it juz hurts.

den he wasn't in a gd mood so he went down ferst. i salam him downstairs when he was starting his bike... hmm.. told him 2 take care but i didn't look @ him.. too unsure... haish.. den like idiot i cried in d lorry. fuck sia. stoopid. cont' later,working. bye2!!

2:54:00 PM

Saturday, April 4, 2009

dammit.still thinking of dat kacang panjang. shit sia. i fucking miss him. shit. i shouldn't feel this way in d ferst plce! dammit. rendang,u better kol me!! or else..!! ceyva stepping jer fai hee.....

1:28:00 AM

alalallalaaaaaa....twinnie go overseas 4 two days!!! omg cannot mit her!! she lie 2 me say 1 mth den i was on d verge of crying sia!!! booooooo...!!! rendang! i wil kick ur ass man!!! really! had fun toking 2 dear2 juz nw! love u dear2!! i'm SURE u had a fun tym wif dat guy juz nw!! hahahahaah!!! k datz all 4 nw!!!

12:39:00 AM

Friday, April 3, 2009

sooo bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm @ work n dere'z like NO ONE!!!!! ggggrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whr r u boss??? i feel damn scared here sia!!!! no smokes no nthg! juz my beloved roti pizza! lol!!! haha!! luckily yan entertaining me!! thx yan!!

12:12:00 PM

Thursday, April 2, 2009

my2!! hahaha...chat wif rendang y'dae nite..omg soooo crap!! he call me lontong!! idiot!!! haha..i told him dat i used 2 smoke...but d temptations r present!! my determination is @ risk!! like i stopped smoking 5 days b4 onli u noe!!!...but...i AM gonna quit by JULY.... hee... omg fai so evil...alaa...

den we talked abt our past relationships.... haha...so painful n heart-wrenching....oh wells! gotta get 2 work now! update later!! buhbye!!

4:20:00 PM

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

was browsing thru youtube... suddenly wanted 2 see my jss grad video..omg i miss my past sooo much.... (tearing up) those dayz in class... hw twinnie n i will alwaez run awae frm extra lessons! haha.... such cute times... how we have crushes... d dayz that i slack ard wif him n fwenz.... all gone.... juz in a blink of an eye...
haish update more later